Leo the Misogynist Cat

Some time ago, whilst walking in the untamed part of our small farm, we heard a pitiful wailing from some bushes. Upon investigation, we found a small but chunky black and white cat. He seemed scared and hungry, and made his best puss in boots eyes at us. We coaxed him from the bushes with some tuna, and after a bit of a tussle in which I had my hands scratched quite deeply, we put him in the cat carrier.

Nicholas, my farm foreman, had begged me for another cat. Since I already owned three cats of which one was a male, I agreed that Nicholas could keep the stray. All was quiet for a while. Then one day I found Pretty Boy, as he was now called, hungry and alone in the campsite area of our farm. I interrogated Nicholas, none too nicely, and was told "She is not a nice cat ma'am, I don't like it". I was spitting mad at Nicholas, and took the cat to my home. He was renamed Leo, and fed properly and I was sure that even though I did not want another cat, he would settle in fine like all the others had. I was quite wrong.

At first leo was just very demanding, screaming day and night for food and attention. We assumed that he was hungry and that this would get better with time. Initially the screams were in a pleading tone, but as time went by he became more aggressive in tone. Then the attacks started. Leo decided he could not bear the sight of Felix, my very fat, very laid back male cat. Leo started to attack him on sight, with intent to do grievous bodily harm. Initially Felix ignored him, but the day came when he retaliated and Leo received several wounds for his trouble. Peace was restored to some degree. I hoped that this would have resolved the pecking order and that the trouble would now be at an end.

New hostilities started the next day. Leo ignored Felix, but became aggressive towards the female cats, Perdita and Impedimenta. Poor old Impedimenta is at least 18 years old, half blind and completely senile. Even so she can hold her own against most other animals, but she was terrified of Leo. She was too scared to leave my bedroom, and with right, as Leo was always on guard outside the door. Leo also targeted Perdita, who is a youngster but half his size. Perdita took up residence on top of the fridge. From this high Fort, she felt she stood a fighting chance against all onslaughts. I did not like the way things were going, and hoped (with a lot less assurance) that the tension in the house would work itself out.

One evening I had a party at my house and after the party all the remaining guests assembled in the lounge for coffee. One of my guests picked up Perdita and sat stroking her. The next second a black and white streak shot from the other couch and a full blown cat fight ensued on my guest's lap, resulting in deep gashes to his hands and arm. It seemed that Leo could not even control his jealousy when surrounded by so many people.

This was when I realised the Leo was the feline version of a misogynist. I wondered why it took me so long to realise this? Maybe it was because he liked to cuddle up against me and purr, and grace me with those puss in boots eyes every so often... Maybe it was because I always feel sorry for discarded animals (and sometimes people), and feelings of guilt make me keep trying. As Leo sits in his cat carrier screaming angrily at me, I realise that this is the hook that all misogynists use - this combination of pity and guilt. Nonetheless he is on his way to the SPCA. Maybe he can find a home in which he can be the only cat, and perhaps then, there will be hope?